Had to start another because I did not realize it was deleting sections of my last one... :o there's a maximum!

February 27th 2026

My writing is always stunted by the list-making I do in my head.

Taxes, nails, cat stuff, brush cat teeth, sweep, vacuum, mop, eye doctor, contacts, dinner. Boring boring boring boring boring.

February 26th 2026

I don't understand why my body needs 10 hours of sleep these days. I'm so tired. I will try to get some reading and a workout in today. I have been doing pretty good with hitting 3 or more workouts a week but I would like them to be more intense.

I ran into someone yesterday who I have not seen since May. It was weird but it did seem like she wanted to be seeing me which was not the case in May. I wonder if she'll reach out at all.

February 24th 2026

I had so much momentum and the snow day killed it. I will try very hard to build it back up. I am itching to move out of this apartment but it is not reasonable to do yet.

Today is the day that I spend an obscene amount on Invisalign!

I have many other miscellaneous thoughts that feel like mush rolling around in my tired brain but the main one is that I wish Beth wanted to marry me.

February 20th 2026

Trying to live like people who seem to have more hours in the day than me. Went to more lesbian events. Laughed. I'm feeling residual anxiety from drinking though. Am I being a weirdo?

I hope Beth knows I love her.

February 19th 2026

My neediness is getting in the way of being an actually interesting person.

February 18th 2026

It's that time again. I'm in a bad mood. Everything is pissing me off. I'm exhausted. I feel ugly. I will go to the gym tomorrow and it will be great. I need workout clothes that fit me better.

February 17th 2026

I may be making a fool of myself! I am just trying to be adventurous and fun but I think I go about it all wrong. Every few months, I feel a revolution stirring inside me. Constantly, I feel changed, though it can all look much the same. I'm trying to accept and embrace the feeling. Everything happens much faster in hindsight.

I have 4 tattoos I would desperately love to have lasered off. I think I will be making moves to do it. 3/4 were done by dear friends when I was younger and dumber so I feel less guilty about wanting them removed. Seems like an obvious conclusion. I have a couple more on my arm I want to get to fill up the sleeve and one on the back of my leg but.... otherwise... I think I am done. No more! I just hope I can get them lasered off affordably.......... ugh. So many regrets.

February 16th 2026

I had quite the weekend! The lesbian bar opening in Philly had a pre-open event. It was genuinely wonderful. We didn't plan to but we ended up there for 8 hours. Wild! Beth made out with the butch we have been escalating a proposition to. Curious to see if it happens. Though it is difficult to feel confident. Beth is much better at it than I am.

While we have another reading event coming up... I need to start establishing Tuesdays that are not group meeting days as solo writing days. I could have other people join but I just need to make sure I'm doing more structured writing if I want to feel like I am accomplishing something. I don't think I'm doing enough.