March 30th 2026 I have felt sick for so many days but this morning in particular. I want to sleep for so long. I am clammy and stuffy. March 26th 2026 I feel full of love for my girlfriend. She means the world to me and I am so happy I get to watch our love grow and change over the years. March 24th 2026 I have not written enough! My birthday celebration was wonderfully sweet. I love watching my friends meet each other and spend time together. I do think I need to take a break from drinking though. Or go back to just drinking cider. I hate feeling raw and exposed. I am kind of lonely in my office. I don't have kids and I'm not married and I'm the only homosexual woman and no one is my age. March 17th 2026 My weekend got messy but my birthday was yesterday and I do love my birthday! I have started Invisalign. March 13th 2026 Beth's lesbian dodgeball team came in second place in their playoffs last night. The 2 games were riveting to watch! I do love sports when people I know are playing them. I am struggling with a lot of tattoo regret today... while also pining for more. It's a weird and obsessive train of thought. I wish I was rich because it wouldn't matter! March 11th 2026 Starting my day nauseous with anxiety. My roommate is deciding whether he is going to move in with his girlfriend in a new city. I would love to be looking for a new place if that happens but I don't want to move in August when I am also taking a big trip. Unsure...... Nervously anticipating my own abandonment. March 10th 2026 I have not been trying very hard at work these last two days but on the bright side, I am reading a book again. Something was not clicking for so long but Native Tongue by Suzette Haden Elgin is. March 9th 2026 March 6th 2026 I fixed my library card yesterday! I started using scar patches on the atrophic scar on my eyebrow from my eyebrow piercing that I had on and off when I was 19. The patch seems to be working! I find the scar very frustrating and funny because it used to be more within my eyebrow but something about my aging face and weight gain means it is barely touching my eyebrow anymore. How silly. I would love for these patches to work so I don't have to seek out lasers for anything more than the tattoos. I was an impulsive young adult/late teenager. P.S. I am writing again to say I'm having a very productive day. Also, I am craving some good friend time. March 5th 2026 I failed at sleeping and waking up again last night. It's okay, though, because I think I saw a white-breasted nuthatch on my walk to get coffee creamer this morning! This is big. I've had this particular bird tattooed on me for 7 years now and I had not yet seen it. I think I have finally been motivated to write a substack article because I want to complain about how I think pop culture commentary is stifled by the fact that the medium of culture has changed and people won't acknowledge this when making grand, sweeping, statements comparing culture of the past to culture of today. We will see if I think it's worth investigating enough. P.S. Lunch-time yoga was great! I can't wait to do it more. March 4th 2026 I filed my taxes today. I was putting it off for no reason. I paid a small amount on my student loans though I used to be so much better with them. I need to get back on track. I started the workday with a 45 minute workout and I do feel far more productive after. I just wish I could wake up early enough to go to my gym in the morning. Anyway, this is all boring stuff. I've been thinking about the panel I went to last night--a Penn panel for the school of arts and sciences. The "conversation" was between a Penn professor and an author/columnist at the Atlantic. I was incredibly interested in his experiences during war times but he spent significantly less time commenting on that in relation to the state of nuclear war right now. He spent most of his time lamenting the negative state of college education and the apathy of young people. I think I am tired of people commenting on the culture at large without acknowledging that there isn't really a strong "pop" culture. I feel like the "culture" is more people talking about the culture than it is actually just happening. It feels exhausting and overly self-aware without really saying much of note. Maybe it is me alone, however, I feel like we need to emphasize a positive tangible reality of learning and curiosity. We need more of a philosophical backbone across all sectors. We need to lead by the example and reject the impulse to feed into this low-brow economy of attention. Stop trying to "say" something about the state of things but rather explore with fantasy... This probably does not make much sense but I mean it. March 3rd 2026 Sometimes I google myself and my whole body shakes and trembles at the thought as if every single one of the worst things I've ever done will appear on the screen in an AI summary with the header She Is The Devil. In other news, I'm begging my girlfriend for romance through subliminal messages I send. Work is boring. I need to fix my library card so I can check out some books because I think all my books are not speaking to me and I need to be gripped by something right this minute. March 2nd! 2026 We celebrated Jazmine's birthday yesterday but I feel bad that I couldn't actually do much due to time and exhaustion. Beth and I got our nails done and that was fun and cute. I spent Saturday with a violent headache but did more cleaning than I have in a long time. I feel like getting rid of lots of my stuff.